By Katie Allie
These are my stories from the road and hard-won guidance from a thoughtful traveler. If I’m making you curious about getting lost and finding the good stuff in this great big world we all share, then I’m doing something right.
In Part II of my series on solo travel, I’d like to introduce you to Sabriya Stukes, a 34-year-old wanderer and scientist, and Ashley Shupienis, a 30-year-old anesthetist and West Virginia native who has been to all seven continents. Both have left footprints all over the world and have practical advice for anyone getting ready to venture out, solo or otherwise.
Whether you’re a seasoned independent adventurer or a nervous novice, I hope their words and depth of experience encourage you to take your own trip—even if it’s just a couple of towns over. All of us, including myself, had to take that first step into the unknown at some point. The rewards for your effort, which extend far beyond envy-inducing Instagram hashtags or memorable meals, are the people you’ll meet and the stereotypes you’ll confront. We are more capable and understanding than we ever thought possible while sitting on our couches. Get up and go.
Why do you travel?
Sabriya Stukes
Sabriya: If I were to synthesize my reason for travel, solo and otherwise, down to a singular driving force it is this: food. I have been incredibly fortunate to go to specific locales based solely on a certain dish or genre of food—Tokyo for sushi, the south of France for seafood, Portugal for wine, Amsterdam for pomme frites, Paris for bread and cheese and San Diego for fish tacos. Sure, monuments, museums and landmarks are always part of why I want to go to these places, but those usually come after I answer the question “What am I going to eat?”
Ashley: I travel because I have an urge to know life beyond my small world. I want to experience everything. I want to know that whatever I choose for my life, I’ve had all the facts. I’m afraid of missing out on my destiny out of ignorance, I guess. As trite as it sounds, I lost my mother at 19, and that has taught me that life is short. I don’t believe in waiting until retirement to do all the things I want to do.
What prompted you to travel solo for the first time?
Sabriya: The easy and cleaned-up answer is I wanted to figure out who I was as a person. My then-boyfriend had always told me stories about how his solo travels really helped shape the strong sense of independence he possessed and how the experiences he collected along the way defined how he saw the world. At the time, I was wrapping up earning a Ph.D. that took me more than six years to complete, I had no job prospects to speak of, and I was feeling incredibly unmoored as my identity as a scientist was coming to an end—as was the lease on my apartment. His notion that traveling alone would help me figure out who I was planted a seed in my mind that this was what I needed to do.
The harder and messier version of this answer starts off like this: on the day I graduated, that same boyfriend told me that after five and a half years, he felt we needed a break. I had no apartment, having previously moved all my belongings to a storage unit with the idea that we would move in together, and I was too full of pride to move back home. I sat down and booked a ticket to Seattle with a return ticket out of Palm Springs two and a half weeks later. I then hastily wrote an email to a bunch of friends inquiring about lodging, and for the places I didn’t know anyone, I made AirBnB reservations.
Ashley Shupienis
Ashley: I started traveling solo to push my own limits and know myself more deeply. I feel it’s critically important to maintain one’s sense of independence and individuality. Travel brings out the best and the worst in a person, and it teaches you what you can handle. It also opens your heart and teaches you that people are basically good, and we’re so much more alike than we are different. Humanitarian work has also been a part of my solo travels. I recently taught at a school for underprivileged girls in Ghana.
What has been the best part of traveling solo?
Sabriya: For me, an unexpected benefit was the enormous amount of alone time I had. I grew up with an older sister and have always purposefully surrounded myself with large groups of friends, but when you are traveling by yourself, it is a different kind of alone. You have more time to be quiet, and, for better or for worse, more time to be alone with your thoughts. As cheesy as this may sound, driving by yourself for more than 19 days gives you a lot of time for reflection. By the end of it, I had no real epiphany to speak of, and as I returned the dust-covered car to the rental service in Palm Springs, I just think I felt an immense sense of pride that I actually did the thing I set out to do. I was recounting this journey to a friend shortly upon my return, and her response was one of utter shock. “I could never do something like that,” she said. The truth was, I didn’t think I was someone who could do that either, until I was.
Ashley: Traveling solo can be difficult, but it forces you to really immerse yourself in the local culture. You’re more likely to only speak in the native tongue, for example, than you would be when traveling with friends who also speak English. It can feel uncomfortable, but growth happens in the uncomfortable zone.
What is the downside of traveling solo?
Ashley: There are definitely downsides to traveling solo. First of all, it can be incredibly lonely, especially if you don’t speak the language. It can feel isolating to return home and have no one to share the memories with who truly understands because they weren’t there. It can also be difficult if you become ill, which I often do abroad. As a woman, there have been times when I’ve been alone and found myself in situations that could have gone very badly, but luckily, they never have.
Do you have a solo travel horror story?
Sabriya: I drove to Ashland, OR, from Portland and was told I absolutely had to take a detour to see Crater Lake, which has the distinction of being the largest lake in the U.S. “It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before,” I was told. “It’s nature’s version of Photoshop,” I was promised. This detour ended up costing me close to six hours, and the most infuriating part was the complete lack of cell phone service near the lake. I got turned around in all the various side trails so many times that by the fifth time I had passed the same landmark, I pulled over and screamed as loud as I could just to get all the frustration and anxiety out. To be fair, it is absolutely stunning, and yes, I got the requisite Instagram shots, but I do wish I had planned the detour a little better.
What general advice do you have for solo travelers?
Sabriya: Purely practical advice I have for solo travelers is to make a list of all the pertinent information regarding hotels, points of contacts, flight information, etc. and send it to someone you trust just so someone else out in the world knows where you will be. When I traveled to Mexico by myself as a way to disconnect from everything, I told no one except one of my closest friends and my parents. I made sure they each had a photocopy of my passport and all the information about my flight and hotel in case they hadn’t heard from me. I also never took the entire contents of my wallet out with me when I left the hotel room. I always left behind—in a secure spot—a small stash of cash and one credit card, should anything unfortunate happen to my wallet.
There are two things I wish I had done more of when traveling solo, and these are things I will definitely do when I plan my next trip. Number one is to take more pictures than you think is necessary. When I embarked on The Great Radical Sabbatical of 2015, I took three different cameras with me. I had incredibly large ambitions of capturing my entire journey on film, but I ended up taking most of my photos on my phone. As I scroll through them, I do wish I had captured more moments even of the mundane things, the smaller building blocks that made up my entire trip. Number two is to jot down what you did that day even if it’s only five sentences. When I think back on my travels, I can always remember how I felt and the locations I went to, but as the days go on, the specific details surrounding these memories begin to get fuzzy and hazy around the edges.
For me, the best piece of advice about traveling solo is the same piece of advice my mom has been giving me since I moved away to college. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. It has never steered me wrong when making decisions based on unfamiliar surroundings.
Ashley: My advice for anyone thinking of traveling solo is this: do it. Figure out what your own personal comfort zone is and step just outside of it—and then a little further outside of it. You’ll be surprised at the layers of yourself you’ll discover and all the meaning you’ll find in unexpected people and places.
This article is part of a two-part series. To read Part I, visit www.wvexecutive.com/lost-found-solo-travel-21st-century-part/.
About the Author
Katie Allie is a West Virginia native who holds degrees in English and elementary education. A teacher by trade, she spent years in a classroom before branching out as a travel consultant and writer. With five continents under her belt and an affinity for noodle soup, it should come as no surprise that she loves to write about food and talk adventure. She may be reached at hello@acrossthelinetravel.com, and you can read more about her adventures at www.wvexecutive.com/category/executive-exclusives.
